Dream Marriages- Reality Check| DIARY OF MAHESH S MAGI | by Swapnil Saundarya
SWAPNIL SAUNDARYA e-zine
( Vol- 08, Year - 2020, SPECIAL ISSUE )
|Dream Marriages- Reality Check|
| DIARY OF MAHESH S MAGI |
Published by
#AtenPublishingHouse
'The Bold Brigade’, a collective to celebrate the Inclusive Power of Arts.
Dream Marriages- Reality Check | DIARY OF MAHESH S MAGI |
John Lyly (Lilly) an English writer quoted, "Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth”, Not sure about what happens in "Heaven" but pretty sure about "Earth" part of the quote (Ha Ha Ha ...).
In India marriage is a big deal, It's a bonding between two families and their respective relatives (it’s recursive one, if we see). Everything is sort prolonged process from beginning, be it either searching bride/groom to engagement to pre-marriage function to main (Marriage) function to post-marriage one and the list of functions goes on. It involves a lot of things, people and many more unnoticed matters.
If we see the process it's clearly shows us a lot of monetary matters involved in every stage of it.
India is a very diverse country with many states/cultures/religions (castes). Each of these diverse areas have customised way of wedding procedures/functions, again if we look into social-classes here, all have sort of their own way. But most common thing among all these is “DOWRY”!
For some people, marriage is a big business (Brokers, marriage portals, Wedding planners and others which involves). Mostly, it comes up with a win-win situation for the groom's family always.
I am not sure how and when this dowry system started and became a part of marriage in India, but sure enough that its not the recent one.
In early days, there were many kingdoms rules different regions of India. Those were the days when bride's family used to give large amount of Jewellery , land (sometimes many villages, helpers), huge amount of money with the motive to show-off their wealth and to provide some monetary independence to their daughters. For groom side, its totally show off among their peers (Relatives) and a way that boost their ego and self esteem.
Now, if we talk about the ways of modern society in regard to marriage, a minimal change can be seen in the orthodox mind-set of people when it comes to marriage and its demands (expectations) from the groom side irrespective of their social class. It would not be an exaggeration to say that its like business deals which can be compared with Schrödinger's cat theory.
Majority of the Indian people are still have same mentality when a daughter is born in the house, their thought ends at her marriage from the day of birth. Although parents of modern time are providing good education, making their daughter financially independent and allowing her to work but the thought of saving money for their daughter's marriage is sometimes results in a horrible dream for their life. There are few cases in which working girls are even engaged themselves in saving their earnings for their marriage to get their parents rid of the burden of saving money for the same. They even forgot to enjoy their life to the fullest with their earnings. On the other hand in groom side, its a different story.
Now-a-days, dowry system took very different and polite face (I am saying this sarcastically). Instead of giving directly, they are giving or taking everything in the name and for the sake of the bride. It doesn’t look like dowry, its way of securing girl’s life financially but in other way, bride's parents are actually digging their grave by doing so. This is an issue, which needs to be discussed at huge level....I would suggest, youth awareness programmes at school-college level should be made mandatory.
Now, the other issue which is going to be the talk of the town, considering the current scenario is the ideal way of getting married.
Undoubtedly, everyone has sort of expectations for their dream marriages. But I personally believe that whatever expenditure for function and other rituals involved in the marriage, should be equally shared among both side so that it will not become a burden for anyone else. In the same way, both the families will keep a tab on the unnecessary spending.
I firmly believe that there is nothing called an ideal marriage. It’s totally depends on the perception of people. Some may like grand extravaganza type, some may like destination wedding and others may end up as simple as court marriages. In short, it’s very individualistic choice. Here, I want to give an example of the marriage of one of my childhood friends. It was so simple yet mesmerizing. He got married in holy place called “Pandarapura” with a very simple function in presence of close family members and friends. He has donated some of his money that he kept for his marriage for a social cause as well. It's really commendable in my view point.
But being literate and knowing how marriage works....it's totally absurd to demand Dowry! Still, there are so many harsh realities associated with Indian marriages.
To sum up, I would say that we have not really evolved as of yet. We are still stuck in between being a traditionalist and being open-minded. And that is prevalent even in the millennials whom the older generations consider as too much ‘advanced’ and ‘open minded’. I think marriages with this mindset is even worse than the older times. Everything you are doing is half-hearted. For a sane person, spending money out of his retirement fund for his child is a big no-no. For their children, even thinking about taking personal loan and paying them off for multiple years is bad.
This is the brutal truth of marriage.
We pride on calling ourselves evolved, open minded and 'independent' youngsters but deep inside we all are just good in rationalising the way we get our marriages done. Or may be we had a quota of being open minded and we exhausted that with 'men who cook are sexy' and 'woman working post marriage'! After that, we just played along.
I am sure God has a great time watching all of this!
But hell no, marriages happen only once, so shut up Mahesh! (With giggles)
The highlighted points of the issues and dark sides associated with Indian marriages which I have written in this page of my Diary published on Swapnil Saundarya ezine are ::
✓ It's a wedding between two families not two individuals!
✓Dowry! Yes. It's still rampant!
✓Let's just drown the newly wed couple in a hefty amount of loan before they even start their married life!
✓Nonsensical amount of money spent to impress those people who will never meet you in life again in most cases!
✓It's considered a matter of social status to spend lavishly!
✓Deep down each family is trying to make the other family look like a grade below themselves!
✓Family pressure backed up with increasing age is the sole reason why some of us get married!
✓Domestic violence is rampant!
✓Dowry still remains an issue even after marriage.
✓Lack of sex in life is another reason! What the f&#k is this logic I still don't understand. You're choosing your life partner not a body to hump!
In case the marriage sails off good underneath it is a plethora of frustration and compromise.
In case it ends in divorce the society ends up labelling man as a eunuch and women as a whore. That's it! I won't sugarcoat! A sugar coated shit is still shit!
In India marriage is a big deal, It's a bonding between two families and their respective relatives (it’s recursive one, if we see). Everything is sort prolonged process from beginning, be it either searching bride/groom to engagement to pre-marriage function to main (Marriage) function to post-marriage one and the list of functions goes on. It involves a lot of things, people and many more unnoticed matters.
If we see the process it's clearly shows us a lot of monetary matters involved in every stage of it.
India is a very diverse country with many states/cultures/religions (castes). Each of these diverse areas have customised way of wedding procedures/functions, again if we look into social-classes here, all have sort of their own way. But most common thing among all these is “DOWRY”!
For some people, marriage is a big business (Brokers, marriage portals, Wedding planners and others which involves). Mostly, it comes up with a win-win situation for the groom's family always.
I am not sure how and when this dowry system started and became a part of marriage in India, but sure enough that its not the recent one.
In early days, there were many kingdoms rules different regions of India. Those were the days when bride's family used to give large amount of Jewellery , land (sometimes many villages, helpers), huge amount of money with the motive to show-off their wealth and to provide some monetary independence to their daughters. For groom side, its totally show off among their peers (Relatives) and a way that boost their ego and self esteem.
Now, if we talk about the ways of modern society in regard to marriage, a minimal change can be seen in the orthodox mind-set of people when it comes to marriage and its demands (expectations) from the groom side irrespective of their social class. It would not be an exaggeration to say that its like business deals which can be compared with Schrödinger's cat theory.
Majority of the Indian people are still have same mentality when a daughter is born in the house, their thought ends at her marriage from the day of birth. Although parents of modern time are providing good education, making their daughter financially independent and allowing her to work but the thought of saving money for their daughter's marriage is sometimes results in a horrible dream for their life. There are few cases in which working girls are even engaged themselves in saving their earnings for their marriage to get their parents rid of the burden of saving money for the same. They even forgot to enjoy their life to the fullest with their earnings. On the other hand in groom side, its a different story.
Now-a-days, dowry system took very different and polite face (I am saying this sarcastically). Instead of giving directly, they are giving or taking everything in the name and for the sake of the bride. It doesn’t look like dowry, its way of securing girl’s life financially but in other way, bride's parents are actually digging their grave by doing so. This is an issue, which needs to be discussed at huge level....I would suggest, youth awareness programmes at school-college level should be made mandatory.
Now, the other issue which is going to be the talk of the town, considering the current scenario is the ideal way of getting married.
Undoubtedly, everyone has sort of expectations for their dream marriages. But I personally believe that whatever expenditure for function and other rituals involved in the marriage, should be equally shared among both side so that it will not become a burden for anyone else. In the same way, both the families will keep a tab on the unnecessary spending.
I firmly believe that there is nothing called an ideal marriage. It’s totally depends on the perception of people. Some may like grand extravaganza type, some may like destination wedding and others may end up as simple as court marriages. In short, it’s very individualistic choice. Here, I want to give an example of the marriage of one of my childhood friends. It was so simple yet mesmerizing. He got married in holy place called “Pandarapura” with a very simple function in presence of close family members and friends. He has donated some of his money that he kept for his marriage for a social cause as well. It's really commendable in my view point.
But being literate and knowing how marriage works....it's totally absurd to demand Dowry! Still, there are so many harsh realities associated with Indian marriages.
To sum up, I would say that we have not really evolved as of yet. We are still stuck in between being a traditionalist and being open-minded. And that is prevalent even in the millennials whom the older generations consider as too much ‘advanced’ and ‘open minded’. I think marriages with this mindset is even worse than the older times. Everything you are doing is half-hearted. For a sane person, spending money out of his retirement fund for his child is a big no-no. For their children, even thinking about taking personal loan and paying them off for multiple years is bad.
This is the brutal truth of marriage.
We pride on calling ourselves evolved, open minded and 'independent' youngsters but deep inside we all are just good in rationalising the way we get our marriages done. Or may be we had a quota of being open minded and we exhausted that with 'men who cook are sexy' and 'woman working post marriage'! After that, we just played along.
I am sure God has a great time watching all of this!
But hell no, marriages happen only once, so shut up Mahesh! (With giggles)
The highlighted points of the issues and dark sides associated with Indian marriages which I have written in this page of my Diary published on Swapnil Saundarya ezine are ::
✓ It's a wedding between two families not two individuals!
✓Dowry! Yes. It's still rampant!
✓Let's just drown the newly wed couple in a hefty amount of loan before they even start their married life!
✓Nonsensical amount of money spent to impress those people who will never meet you in life again in most cases!
✓It's considered a matter of social status to spend lavishly!
✓Deep down each family is trying to make the other family look like a grade below themselves!
✓Family pressure backed up with increasing age is the sole reason why some of us get married!
✓Domestic violence is rampant!
✓Dowry still remains an issue even after marriage.
✓Lack of sex in life is another reason! What the f&#k is this logic I still don't understand. You're choosing your life partner not a body to hump!
In case the marriage sails off good underneath it is a plethora of frustration and compromise.
In case it ends in divorce the society ends up labelling man as a eunuch and women as a whore. That's it! I won't sugarcoat! A sugar coated shit is still shit!
Truly yours,
Mahesh S Magi
~About Mahesh ~
Mahesh S Magi is working in IT sector from last 10 years in Bengaluru. He has graduated in Engineering from VTU Belgaum and earned Executive MBA degree from IIM-Bangalore (Indian Institute of Management). He is an avid reader and has a flair for literature, cooking, farming and listening music. He is currently researching on the new methods and techniques to promote organic farming in rural areas of south India.
***********************
🦋Swapnil Saundarya 🦋
Decade of Action
🇮🇳
1️⃣0️⃣Yrs Campaign to generate awareness to take action for SDGs🌈
Donate ur Creativity🎨Not ur funds!
Many simple steps=Big Impact🌐
About us |
Swapnil Saundarya ezine, founded in 2013 is India's first hindi lifestyle online magazine that curates info on art , lifestyle, culture , literature, social issues etc and inspire its readership to raise their voice against all sorts of violence and discrimination. We focus on art Activism, protest art and participatory communication and social action.
Swapnil Sauundarya Label , Launched in the year 2015 is a Government registered Enterprise where you can find all your wardrobe needs of jewelry, accessories, Interior Products , Paintings , Fashion and Lifestyle books, green products under one roof. Swapnil Saundarya Label offers a complete sustainable lifestyle solution. The brainchild of Brother and Sister Duo Visual Artist-Writer Rishabh Shukla and Jewellery- Fashion Designer Swapnil Shukla, Swapnil Saundarya Label is a contemporary luxury and lifestyle brand established on social and environmentally sustainable principles.
Swapnil Saundarya Label's articles are true example of perfectly handcrafted Product. The Production processes used in their crafts typically have a low carbon footprint and promote the use of locally available materials as well as natural and organic materials where possible which requires low energy and sustained our environment. The Label also provide a source of earning and employment for the otherwise low skilled women, thereby improving their status within the household.
स्वप्निल सौंदर्य ई-ज़ीन - परिचय
कला , साहित्य, फ़ैशन व सौंदर्य को समर्पित भारत की पहली हिन्दी लाइफस्टाइल ई- पत्रिका .
बनायें अपनी ज़िंदगी को अपने सपनों की दुनिया .
( Make your Life just like your Dream World )
Founder - Editor ( संस्थापक - संपादक ) :
Rishabh Shukla ( ऋषभ शुक्ला )
Managing Editor (कार्यकारी संपादक) :
Suman Tripathi (सुमन त्रिपाठी)
Chief Writer (मुख्य लेखिका ) :
Swapnil Shukla (स्वप्निल शुक्ला )
Art Director ( कला निदेशक) :
Amit Chauhan (अमित चौहान)
Marketing Head ( मार्केटिंग प्रमुख ) :
Vipul Bajpai (विपुल बाजपई)
'स्वप्निल सौंदर्य - ई ज़ीन ' ( Swapnil Saundarya ezine ) में पूर्णतया मौलिक, अप्रकाशित लेखों को ही कॉपीराइट बेस पर स्वीकार किया जाता है . किसी भी बेनाम लेख/ योगदान पर हमारी कोई ज़िम्मेदारी नहीं होगी . जब तक कि खासतौर से कोई निर्देश न दिया गया हो , सभी फोटोग्राफ्स व चित्र केवल रेखांकित उद्देश्य से ही इस्तेमाल किए जाते हैं . लेख में दिए गए विचार लेखक के अपने हैं , उस पर संपादक की सहमति हो , यह आवश्यक नहीं है. हालांकि संपादक प्रकाशित विवरण को पूरी तरह से जाँच- परख कर ही प्रकाशित करते हैं, फिर भी उसकी शत- प्रतिशत की ज़िम्मेदारी उनकी नहीं है . प्रोड्क्टस , प्रोडक्ट्स से संबंधित जानकारियाँ, फोटोग्राफ्स, चित्र , इलस्ट्रेशन आदि के लिए ' स्वप्निल सौंदर्य - ई ज़ीन ' को ज़िम्मेदार नहीं ठहराया जा सकता .
कॉपीराइट : 'स्वप्निल सौंदर्य - ई ज़ीन ' ( Swapnil Saundarya ezine ) के कॉपीराइट सुरक्षित हैं और इसके सभी अधिकार आरक्षित हैं . इसमें प्रकाशित किसी भी विवरण को कॉपीराइट धारक से लिखित अनुमति प्राप्त किए बिना आंशिक या संपूर्ण रुप से पुन: प्रकाशित करना , सुधारकर संग्रहित करना या किसी भी रुप या अर्थ में अनुवादित करके इलेक्ट्रॉनिक या यांत्रिक , प्रतिलिपि, रिकॉर्डिंग करना या दुनिया के किसी भी हिस्से में प्रकाशित करना निषेध है . 'स्वप्निल सौंदर्य - ई ज़ीन ' के सर्वाधिकार ' ऋषभ शुक्ल' ( Rishabh Shukla ) के पास सुरक्षित हैं . इसका किसी भी प्रकार से पुन: प्रकाशन निषेध है.
चेतावनी : 'स्वप्निल सौंदर्य - ई ज़ीन ' ( Swapnil Saundarya ezine ) में घरेलु नुस्खे, सौंदर्य निखार के लिए टिप्स एवं विभिन्न चिकित्सा पद्धतियों के संबंध में तथ्यपूर्ण जानकारी देने की हमने पूरी सावधानी बरती है . फिर भी पाठकों को चेतावनी दी जाती है कि अपने वैद्य या चिकित्सक आदि की सलाह से औषधि लें , क्योंकि बच्चों , बड़ों और कमज़ोर व्यक्तियों की शारीरिक शक्ति अलग अलग होती है , जिससे दवा की मात्रा क्षमता के अनुसार निर्धारित करना जरुरी है.
India's First Chemo Dolls By Swapnil Saundarya
Luxury crafts manufacturing firm 'Swapnil Saundarya Label' takes great pride to create its exclusive range of chemo dolls which can help in conveying the psychosocial effects of treatment to cancer patients .
Swapnil Saundarya Chemo Dolls are created with an extremely rare condition where they do not have hair , they went through all their cancer treatments with their chemo, radiation and surgery .
These Chemo Doll with the ' Fighting Spirit ' help to affirm and support the struggles of cancer patients. These dolls are designed to encourage Cancer patients who have to go through chemo therapy and will likely lose their hair. Swapnil Saundarya Chemo Dolls are dolls for children as well as for adults in treatments for cancer.
Swapnil Saundarya Label manufactured their first Chemo doll in 2017, but instead of placing them on sale for profit, distributed them to various NGOs.
Doll Designer 'Swapnil' has designed chemo dolls which are simply beautiful and bald , each with their own removable colorful hat adjoining with the doll's hand representing the power to fight against the terrible disease Cancer . These dolls are dedicated to all of them battling this awful disease.
"Our goal is to place Swapnil Saundarya Chemo Dolls in the arms of all cancer patients who need a hug and to put big smiles on their faces .You can nominate any child with cancer who needs a new best friend Doll and the firm will ship his or her new doll with lots of love and care from Swapnil Saundarya Label", said Swapnil, co -owner.
Rishabh , co-owner of Swapnil Saundarya Label said "we hope our dolls have the magic to make their own best friends feel super brave and courageous. Our mission is to provide emotional support to children and adults in treatment for cancer and other serious illnesses through our chemo dolls "
**************
Talkistaan :: The Talk Show || Success Stories with Anurag
************
~ Trailblazer ~
in Hindi Fashion :: Swapnil
SWAPNIL SAUNDARYA LABEL
Make your Life just like your Dream World !
copyright©2013-Present. Rishabh Shukla. All rights reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced , stored in a retrieval system or transmitted , in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner.
Copyright infringement is never intended, if I published some of your work, and you feel I didn't credited properly, or you want me to remove it, please let me know and I'll do it immediately.
Comments
Post a Comment